Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
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Bible Commentary
Proverbs 14:1 is a Bible verse that reveals the importance of a woman’s role in her family.
In today’s society, a woman wears many hats. She can be a wife, mother, full-time professional, care-taker to her elders, and so much more. In all of these roles she has many responsibilities, like managing the household finances, planning and shopping for the family meals, and keeping the home and the laundry clean.
As mothers and professionals, we get accustomed to problem-solving on the spot, and our “take care of it” attitude begins to spill over into the other parts of our lives. Soon, we have taken on the responsibilities of the other members of the family. Over a period of time, the weight of these added responsibilities becomes heavier and heavier.
Carrying a burden that is too big for us causes strain–in our marriage and therefore in our home. Under this constant struggle with our heavy load, we become resentful toward our husband or anyone else we feel should be doing more to help.
Our role as help meet (Genesis 2:18) and nurturer turns sour as we gradually take on the role of a dictator, barking orders and ruling our homes with an iron fist. After all, if we don’t do it, who will?
Where Did the Love Go?
Instead of enjoying our role as wife and mother and providing loving support and peaceful encouragement, we’re just trying to make it through the day, making sure everyone gets where they’re supposed to be on time and taking care of the basic household necessities.
By the end of the day, we’re not only physically exhausted but emotionally drained. We have nothing left over—emotionally or physically–for any kind of one-on-one time with our husband.
Carrying a burden too heavy for us effects not only our well-being, but our husband’s and everyone else in the home. The resentment building in our heart spews over into our attitude and actions. This causes walls to form around our heart that are difficult to penetrate.
We forgot what love felt like. Callousness took the place of compassion, but we don’t know how to change it. We begin comparing our husbands and ourselves with others. Then we start looking for the love and happiness that has escaped us.
Be careful.
Unlocking the Truth – The House of God
If we look to anyone else except Jesus Christ, we will be like the foolish woman in Proverbs 14:1. Webster’s defines “foolish” like this: silly, unwise, embarrassed. The Hebrew root word means: perverse.
Before we understand what’s happening, we find ourselves like the foolish woman. As the resentment mounts in our hearts, so does the tension in our home, which drains it of peace, warmth and joy.
Be warned.
Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
What’s the answer? We’ve tried asking for help, pleading for help and demanding help from those around us. Nothing works!
The answer is always Jesus Christ. He is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6). He helps us become wise. All we have to do is ask Him.
Release and Repair
James 1:5 says, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
The wise woman builds her house.
One of the Hebrew meanings for “build” is: repair. This is how Jesus Christ taught me to “repair” my home:
· Forgive your husband and you will be healed from the resentment in your heart.
· Prevent new grudges from forming. Don’t condemn or judge him.
· Lean on Christ as your husband (Ephesians 5:23). He will provide the help you need.
· Remove expectations from your children, so they can be who God created them to be.
· Get out of God’s way, so He can deal with your husband and children Himself. You are not their Holy Spirit.
· Pray over your family and then trust God to act (Psalm 37:5). I use Stormie Omartian’s prayer books.
· Look at the truth in your own heart to be healed from pride and selfish ambitions.
· Your husband is the leader. You are safe beside him and behind him but not in front of him. He blossoms as that leader as you yield to God’s perfect design for the home.
It takes time, but the peace and joy that come from surrendering to God’s ordained order for your home is unmatched by anything in this world. EVERYTHING gets better as it takes shape.
What a joy when we begin to recognize God in our husband. Love begins to blossom again. Peace and joy reign where there was anger and tension before.
As we build our house, God is building His house in us and through us (Psalm 23:6). Praise the Lord! Study the Bible verse of Proverbs 14:1, and be a wise woman who builds her house. You will never regret it.
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