Song of Solomon 2:15 (NASB)

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Four Little Foxes that Ruin Marriages

Song of Solomon 2:15 is a Bible verse that warns us of the pitfalls in marriage. The Book of Song of Solomon is considered the Love Story of the Bible. In it God gives us the right example of courtship and marriage.

Do you remember when you first fell in love with the person who is now your spouse? Your love and passion far outweighed any flaws you might have noticed. No matter what the odds, nothing could penetrate the strength of your love.

Love is a very powerful emotion. It is filled with mercy and compassion. The Bible says that God is love (1 John 4:8), and when we fall in love, we get to experience the emotion that Christ feels for us, His bride. That is His gift to us—a glimpse into understanding how God feels about us.

So when we get married, we start on the mountaintop of that love. We see the best in one another in the compassion and mercy of Love. And then…

Four Little Foxes

1)   Disrespect

Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Just as God gives His people the most important command of all—to Love Him with all their hearts, souls and minds (Deuteronomy 6:5)—this is the way wives are to love their husbands.

When we first get married we are the in the depths of the emotion of love, so this is easy to do at first. However, after a period of time the little foxes creep in unaware and little by little things happen that might cause us to lose respect for our husbands.

·         Maybe he hangs out with his buddies too much for our liking, or he drinks a little too much. Maybe he tunes into the TV more than he tunes into us.

·         Maybe he made a comment in front of friends that made us look bad or feel bad. Maybe he compares our cooking to his mother’s.

·         Maybe he doesn’t take out the trash when we ask him, or help around the house as much as we think he should.

·         Maybe he isn’t involved in our children’s lives as much as we’d like.

·         Maybe it seems like he just isn’t trying very hard, while we’re drowning in the sea of responsibility of managing the house and raising the kids.

What Disrespect Can Look Like

We saw him as our knight in shining armor when we married him, when the emotion of love drowned out any doubts or flaws. But now? Now, the sound of disrespect rings louder than the sounds of love. Disrespect might look like this:

·         The cold shoulder—both in words and in affection. We shut down. We get tired of trying to “get him to do…” It’s like driving the wrong way down a one-way street. It just doesn’t work. Disrespect creeps in gradually and our affection and attraction toward him wanes.

·         Bad attitude—our tongue and tone get a little sharper and our patience wears thin. We bury our disrespect in a place where we think it is hidden, but it surfaces in our attitude.

To begin mending your attitude toward your husband, I recommend reading “A Wife After God’s Own Heart” and “A Woman After God’s Own Heart”, both by Elizabeth George. These books were a huge help to me. As I sought God for healing in my own marriage, He showed me the truth about what was in my heart and began helping me surrender wrong attitudes to Him.  When wrong attitudes are cleaned out, it makes room for a re-birth in our relationships. It makes room for the righteousness of Christ to rule in our hearts. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life–in all aspects of our life and relationships. (John 14:6)

2)   Judgment

Matthew 7:1-3 says, “Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. ³ And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?