The Voice

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Everything was black. She couldn’t see anything in front of her as she ran full force toward she knew not what. She was terrified but at the same time exhilaration pushed her forward.

She had nowhere to go but forward, but in front of her was uncertainty and fear. Though she couldn’t see it, she somehow knew there was a cliff growing closer with every tread of her feet. She only ran faster.

She started to grow exhausted. “Where are you?” she cried. “I don’t know where I am or where I’m going, but I know I don’t want to be here.” No response. She pressed on.

“Don’t you know what’s in front of me? I’m going to fall!” The only sound were her feet hitting the ground.

She could see the edge drawing closer through the darkness. Panic shot through her. “Help me!” she screamed, “Where are you? I can’t stop, I can’t turn around, why are you letting this happen to me?”

“Trust me.”

It was quiet, but she was sure she had heard it. The Voice that had asked her to start running this direction had spoken again.

“But I can’t! Can’t you see there’s a cliff? If I keep going I’m going to fall. How will trusting You help me then? You can’t really mean you want me to keep going this way.”

“Keep going.” Was the quiet, confident response.

“Keep going? You can’t mean that. Why did I ever listen to you in the first place? I’m scared!” she cried out.

“Trust me.” The Voice said again.

As she ran ever closer to the edge, her panic rose. She began to try to think of how she could get out of this darkness herself. The Voice had to have made a mistake when He told her to start running this way.

She had been perfectly happy with the life she had been living before. She was comfortable, surrounded by people that loved her, and desired more than anything to do what the Voice asked of her. Why had she let the Voice tell her to go this way?

But then she thought about how her life had been filled with so much joy. She had been young when the Voice had asked her to follow Him. She had stepped out of the cold lonely box she had been living in and discovered a world full of beauty and love she had never imagined could exist.

Then the Voice had asked for her trust Him when things became hard “Because,” He had said, “Things will not always be easy. Will you trust me then?”

“Of course I will!” She exclaimed, “You have proven yourself time and time again. I will trust You in any circumstance.” She reasoned with herself that the question had merely been a test, and couldn’t imagine how things could ever truly be bad if she was following The Voice.

Then tragedy had struck. A loved one was called home, and in her pain, she couldn’t hear the Voice speaking words of comfort.

“I trusted you.” she cried out in anger, “I believed you would heal him, and you didn’t. You failed me!”

She tried to shut the Voice out. She didn’t want to hear anything He had to say to her. He hadn’t come through when she needed Him most. She felt as though she couldn’t trust Him again, and that the pain would rip her apart.

She was sure the Voice wouldn’t speak to her again, and that was just fine with her. She couldn’t recall any of the beauty she had once seen when she had spoken with Him. All she could see was the bleak outcome of what she believed to be the Voice’s failure to protect her loved one. Her pain turned to numbness.

But no matter how hard she tried to close herself off completely from the Voice, she could still hear Him. It seemed that she could hear Him speak through her friends and family. She even felt she heard Him in the trees and flowers around her, calling her to come back and talk with Him.

But then she heard a different voice. This voice fed her insecurities, and reminded her of the pain The Voice had caused her. This other voice spoke so eloquently, telling her she couldn’t trust Him again, and convinced her that He had never truly been there for her.

The other voice poisoned her mind with lies, telling her that The Voice didn’t care about her, her wants or desires, that The Voice was just going to cause her more pain. The other voice said that The Voice ruled with an iron fist, that she could and should live without Him.

And though she started to believe the other voice, she could faintly make out The Voice saying “You are loved. Come talk with me. I want you to trust me. I want you. I will continue to pursue you. I love you unconditionally.”

Months went by, and every day The Voice continued to speak to her through her family and friends and the world around her, speaking of His love for her. Beckoning her to come talk with Him again.

Each time The Voice spoke of His love for her, little bits of her heart would find healing. And each time, the other voice would remind her how much it had hurt when she had trusted The Voice so fully, and would overwhelm her heart with more hurt.

Even still, The Voice would call to her, quietly at first, but growing in intensity and urgency until she could no longer shut Him out. The Voice seemed to follow her everywhere she went, shouting His love for her and breaking down the walls she had built around her heart until one day she knew she wanted to listen again.

Feeling broken and raw, she cried out to The Voice, “I have been so wrong! I’ve tried to shut you out for so long, and yet you have continually called out to me. Why do you care about me so much?”

The Voice responded with three words.

“I love you.”

It was more than she could bear. She fell to the ground in her shame and begged for forgiveness. She realized that she wanted to speak to The Voice again, and was overwhelmed by the immediate feeling of love and acceptance that washed over her.

She knew she had to be prepared for other pain that would inevitably come into her life. She surrounded herself with friends who also spoke to The Voice, and they reminded each other of the love and peace that came with talking with Him.

She felt a fire growing within her and wanted to tell everyone how life with The Voice could be. She wanted more than anything to shout about His glory from the rooftops. She spoke with The Voice daily, and knew that nothing could get her down. She knew The Voice wanted her love and happiness, and trusted Him completely.

Then one day He had asked her to run as fast as she could into the darkness that was before her. Her trust in The Voice had propelled her without a backward glance into the darkness. But as it had stretched farther and farther before her, her faith faltered.

She realized her loved ones were not in this darkness with her, and wondered why she hadn’t heard more direction from The Voice.

The cliff was only a few feet away now, and suddenly The Voice grew louder and louder, “Trust me. I love you. Listen to my voice. Keep going. I will never leave you” until she could no longer think about anything but The Voice and what He was saying.

She took a deep breath and pushed her trembling legs into a sprint toward the cliff’s edge. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I trust you!” She shouted, “You’ll never leave me. You’ll never fail. I love you!”

She leapt over the edge.